Sunday, February 03, 2013

Standing Up For India

This was published as a middle in the Times of India edit page, sometime in August 2007.

© Times of India
  
Manas Gupta

Multiplexes have transformed the entire movie-watching culture in Delhi. The massive queues have all but disappeared, as have the gangs of mosquitoes and the broken seats. The one thing that hasn't changed is the typical Delhiite.
One can see them all in the confines of an air-conditioned cinema hall — from the polite to the obnoxious; from the dreamy, hand-holding couple to the disapproving, overweight aunties; from the gang of school-bunking kids to the giggling group of svelte college girls.
One fine day, yours truly found himself amidst a similar motley group of cinema-goers during a recent trip to the neighbourhood multiplex, and came back with an unforgettable memory.
During the intermission, a message flashed on the screen: 'Please stand up for the national anthem'.
Slowly, hesitatingly, the people started getting up. The girls stopped gossiping, the loud gentleman behind me stopped fighting for his seat, the whistling, joking group of students clammed up, and even the babies stopped crying. For the next few minutes, the only sound in the hall was the national anthem being sung by a host of legendary singers. And every single person in that dark, plush cinema hall was standing up.
The atmosphere was electrifying and for those few minutes, I felt goose pimples. Suddenly, I no longer felt any animosity towards the gawking teen who kept fiddling with his chair. I didn't want to slap the noisy kid behind me anymore. I felt a bond with my country and countrymen. It was an experience that I hadn't ever felt in my last 28 years on earth.  
After the anthem finished, we took our seats. Some people applauded. Some shared smiles with the unknown face sitting beside them. After all, we were all part of the same country. We were India.
If this moment could have such a profound impact on an adult like me, than think of that seven-year-old in the fourth row, on whose impressionable mind, a two-minute clip has left an indelible mark of patriotism.
Just 10 minutes later, as I tried to make my way through a packed traffic-crossing, I accidentally brushed the side-view mirror of shiney new car. Sudeenly, a volley of verbal abuse hit me like monster truck. As I turned to face my attacker, I realised it was the quiet, affable lady who exchanged smiles with me after the anthem.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My road rage in print

Stereotyping Office Looneys -- TOI Crest

Public Enemies - TOI Crest

The Dirty Dozen -- TOI Crest Edition









 

One of my first collaborations with Mr Ajit Ninan in Times of India's Crest edition. Text of the page can be found here: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/The-Dirty-Dozen/articleshow/5228807.cms

Sachin Tribute for TOI Budget edition 2011


Click image for larger view. For text only version, go to this link:
Sachin and India: Tale of two majestic growth stories

My take on fake accents with Ajit Ninan

Friday, March 28, 2008

BEASTLY TALES

(written for TOI in 2005)
I recently found that I am gifted with an ‘animal instinct’. Whether it is a gift or not is highly debatable. Consider this, every time I take my trusted 100-cc motorbike out on the roads of Delhi, the sound attracts every passing stray dog on the road, who chase the bike like it was a member of the opposite sex. Animal instinct indeed.At this point, I flee for his life by speeding away, but at the very next crossing, instead of any traffic policeman on duty, find another dog ready to vent his sexual frustration on my precious vehicle.Delhi’s dogs also seem to have an ‘attitude problem’. The last time I stopped at a traffic light, a dog nonchalantly walked up to my bike and proceeded to relieve himself on the newly retreaded front tire. By the time I realised what the ‘cunning canine’ was up to, the rascal vanished into thin air. Almost like a hit-and-run accident on the Capital’s roads. It seems that the dogs don’t realise Maneka Gandhi is not in the government anymore.Coming back to animal instinct, I had a first-hand experience of the Hindiproverb ‘aa bail mujhe maar. But in my case it was a bull instead of a ‘bail’, who had unfortunately decided to rest in the middle of the road. Well, the animal-lover that I am, I tried to avoid disturbing the animal’s rest, but in the process almost gave myself some rest...in peace. To avoid crashing into Lord Yama’s transport, I crashed my own transport, (yes, the same trusted bike that the dogs love) into the road-divider. The accident resulted in some nasty bruises, a tetanus injection and of course sick leave. Now, I go around telling people that I used my animal instinct to get my insensitive company to give me sick leave.
Of course any story about NCR roads is incomplete without the mention of cattle. A cow blocking the road is such a routine happening in our country that people don’t seem to mind anymore. One wouldn’t be surprised if accident figures show cows at par with blueline drivers for causing the maximum road mishaps. Like most Delhiites, I’ve had my share of ‘cattle-battles’. In fact, I tried to banish my ‘cow-wardice’ on the roads with a serious man-to-cow talk. So when I ran into a cow the other day, I gave it a piece of my mind on traffic rules. The rude animal however, continued to chew something in a rather arrogant fashion, almost like an Australian cricketer and completely ignored me. I felt like I was facing a babu ina government office.To avoid such ‘animal anomalies’ on one’s daily route, here is some advice: The dog who feels its the neighbourhood James Bond can be dealt with by stopping your vehicle and giving a fierce growl to match the dog’s. I assure you that most Delhi dogs as well as Delhiites will turn tail at the sound. If you encounter a bull or a cow at breakneck speed, then go ahead and slam into them. The landing will definitely be softer and you will be too preoccupied trying to escape the animal’s fury to worry about injuries. It’s also an added bonus for other commuters, who get a first hand look at a good old bullfight. Ole.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Metamorphosis

When I was hurled,
Into this fucking world

I came face to face,
With the ugly human race

But then I grew up,
No longer the stupid pup

The energy of the youth,
Brash and uncouth
Ready to go anywhere
And punch out a tooth

The time was a bitch,
Hatred everywhere

Everybody was nobody
And nobody cared

I thought I’d change it all,
Determined to stand tall

But then I met temptation
And overcame all hesitation

And became an animal like them

Copyright Manas Gupta

Black ain’t beautiful

Fighting all odds,
He moved past the point of no return,
It was a world of success,
Of hatred which could burn

It needed strength,
It needed will,
It needed strategy,
And the spirit to kill

Fake smiles and fake souls
And handshakes with arseholes

The truth is bitter
The truth is black
A stab at success means
To stab in the back

Destiny be damned,
For the damned make their own destiny
Their strength remains, the soul doesn’t
Hell remains, it’s coal doesn’t

But will he see the light?
Will take on those demons?
Will he ever triumph?
Or will it be too late?

Had he moved past that point of no return?
Copyright By Manas Gupta